Public Personal Journal: The Conclusion

1 minute read

This whole website started off as an experiment in publishing my private personal journal. It was a way for me to expose my inner reality for the whole world to see. It was an open-ended exploration. There was no hypothesis to validate. It was just a “let’s find out where this goes”. Naturally, no definitive ETA was defined for its conclusion. However, I am happy to announce now that this whole experiment with having a public personal journal here has reached a conclusion. The conclusion is that the whole idea was impractical and unviable for long-term sustenance. Every time I write in one of those things, I am writing for an audience and it inevitably ends up being a manufactured version of what I want to say. It’s like my brain’s PR division takes over and starts diluting the substance with artificial flavor. I have also arrived at the realization that it is wise to not mix internal narrative with public narrative. These are two separate things and necessarily so. They have differing functions. One is to direct our internal energy towards a direction. The other is to persuade others to your cause. There will inevitably be use of one towards the furthering of the other. But to take one’s internal narrative and make it the public narrative is not a brave attempt at openness or transparency. It is like fitting a nail where a screw should go. There is no desirable functional outcome other than for the potential recreational consumption by posterity. And in more than one way, it could end up harming my public narrative down the run because recordings of one’s past internal narrative may not reflect the shape of one’s current internal narrative. We all evolve, internally, personally. And our internal narratives takes various shapes throughout that journey. I know for sure that my internal narrative has evolved so profoundly throughout my life. I sometimes do get curious to see earlier versions of my narrative, to measure the distance I’ve come. And a private personal journal would do quite well for that purpose.

I will continue to maintain this website, but not as a public personal journal, but as a space for me to broadcast the thoughts I wish for the world to see. And I don’t see any reason for me to remove the existing posts, at least as of now.


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