It’s been nearly two years since I established this site. At the time the purpose was to have this as a public personal journal. A tool for me to expose myself to the unknown. To have me vulnerable to the harsh reality of the larger world…somehow, for my own benefit? It is a seemingly idiotic but exhiliarating thought, even today. This idea of laying bare to the world, knowing full well that the world is filled with people who remain civil only because there are external consequences otherwise.
I think it’s time to revisit that initial purpose. I don’t believe I truly explained the motivations behind wanting to do this. At least not to my own satisfaction.
I know for a fact that a time will come when I will no longer enjoy the safety and comfort of anonymity in the larger global society. I know that I will have to live a different life when that happens. There will be no such thing as privacy. The harder you hide the more dangerous it will become; because the harder you hide, the fewer the people who will succeed in knowing your secrets. And the fewer the people who know your secrets the more powerful they become in holding it. And I know for a fact that no matter how well you hide, it is just a matter of effort and time before someone can know it. And the more influential you become, the more powerful and dark the forces that wish to harm you become.
I’ve known this to be my fate for a very long time now. I knew even in my childhood that I will one day have to expel the contents of my mind to the larger world, whether I like it or not. I have too much going on within me for me to keep it all to myself. What I have to share with the world will inevitably endanger and threaten those who wield illicit power. I’m destined to be an inconvenience to many who have settled into a fundamentally flawed power structure.
What this website is fundamentally intended to be is a seedling for my own safety and empowerment. It seems so outrageously counterintuitive. The fact that I’m putting all of my vulnerability out in the open can potentially empower those who wish to harm me. And yet, there is a fundamental reason why I believe that this will actually work in the favor of my safety, rather than endanger it.
Let me explain the principle behind this. When you take something and push it to an extreme in a particular dimension, it begins to resemble what it would become at the other extreme of that dimension. It’s almost like you starting at one point in the circle and then going full circle to reach the same point. The beginning and the end of the journey are seemingly identical, even though they are a journey apart.
As I have stated above, it is impossible to ensure total secrecy. And it is so much more strenuous to contain a secret than to promote an obscure fact into a universally recognized truth. Both have their own challenges. But all it takes is one misstep for you to fail in your lifetime of efforts in preserving a secret. And all it takes for you to take an obscure fact and let the whole world know it is to keep telling the world that obscure fact persistently until enough people learn of it. To keep a secret it takes persistent and unrelenting meticulousness. To popularize an obscure fact all it takes is persistent and unrelenting expression of that fact. The likelihood of failure over a misstep is far less in the latter effort. If something seems impossible to do, it often simply means that you are unaware of an easier approach to achieve the same.
I know that those who wish to harm me can only do so with lies. If they get a hold of one little secret from my life that the world didn’t know about, they can use it to turn the world against me simply by hiding other things about me. Which is why I must persistently and unrelentingly share the truth of who I am to the world. And that is the purpose of this endeavor. And I know for a fact that my only lifeline is my invisible connection to the global community of other truth-seekers. We may not know each other by name or face or associate to each other in any other way, but we know each other through our knowledge of ourselves. Because what is within me and driving me is what is within you and driving you as well. And it is our connection to each other that strengthens and guards what would otherwise be so fragile - our freedom in our individual pursuit towards the truth, which is the most sacred duty we have towards ourselves. By ourselves each one of us is exposed and fragile the further we progress in our pursuits. But when we unite, we can resist even the most powerful of the dark forces that thrive in our failure as truth-seekers.
As I said above, the only way that anyone can harm us is with lies. It is the fundamental reason why I would never trust someone who has lied to themselves or does not feel remorse in lying to others. No matter what their motivation for the lie, the moment one begins to seek comfort in lies, they become the mindless claws of the dark forces. And the dark forces aren’t a conspiratorial all-powerful figure. They are just like us. They are individuals just like us, who are united by their opposition to us. They are collectively threatened by the rise of the light of truth.
Truth seekers never willingly and solely gravitate towards power. The power that we may garner is often the consequence of the actions that we engage in as we pursue the truth. But those who have no affinity towards the truth will consciously seek out power purely for the sake of power. I don’t understand or relate to them. I can only hypothesise that somewhere deep down, they know that they have reason to fear. They perhaps instinctively know that truth is more powerful than anything. And their efforts to gather power is a product of their hubris. They will fail inevitably, but in their hubris, they will believe that their forts can resist the eventual and inevitable waves that will come and cleanse out these castles, much like the waves of the beach destroy sand castles.
I have confessed in my initial attempt to explain the purpose of this website that there is a basis in fear. Of course, I am afraid too. My fear however is not of defeat. Our collective success as truth-seekers is guaranteed. By definition truth is that which is eternal. As other things come and go, what remains eternal and constant becomes what we come to know as the truth. We can never be defeated when we align with the truth. But that does not mean that we cannot be harmed. My fear is of being harmed. And this whole exercise is to keep me from falling back in my constant pursuit of truth as a consequence of being sufficiently harmed.
This is my broadcast to all other truth seekers. To share the truth of every aspect of who I am to the world fearlessly. This is my conscious attempt to strengthen the invisible bond that we share. I know that the day when my bond with you is severed is the day when I will become easy prey to those who are inconvenienced by my success as a seeker of truth.
My fellow truth seekers, do not succumb to your fears. Just know that we can never be defeated. But just because we cannot be defeated doesn’t mean that we can be careless. We must be so careful. We have a lot to protect. And with enough care we can also thrive without being harmed. I have no desire to live a life on the run. I wasn’t born in a cosmos this vast to fear the fools who cannot see the larger picture simply because they happen to be powerful.
Today this is a seemingly irrelevant exercise by an unknown individual. But no one recognizes the value of the actions of that man who waters a seedling in oblivion. It is only when that seedling grows to its fullest potential that these small actions become meaningful retrospectively. It is when we rest in the shade of that tree that we will feel gratitude to those small actions eons ago. My persistent exposition of myself will one day fortify my safeguard from those who will inevitably attempt to harm me with their lies. Lies that they may or may not acknowledge to be lies. I am starting to expose myself now because time enriches everything. I will continue to voice and represent myself and promote the obscure truth of who I am so that one day it will be no longer be obscure.